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Re: Horror Franchises that Should be Killed Off
Horror Franchises that Should be Killed Off
Can it be? Are the 'Saw' movies really only five years old? It feels like the grotty torture-porn franchise has been with us forever, an annual chore to be survived every Halloween, like one of Jigsaw's traps - even though Jigsaw himself has been dead since the third movie.
And yet, the brand chugs along. But when it finally does run out of steam, it'll probably wind up just like every other long-in-the-fang series. We've collected some examples of other walking-dead horror series for your consideration. Click on the first thumbnail below to get started.
1. Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)
Don't pretend you haven't held this in your hand at the DVD store for a couple of seconds, wondering if maybe - just maybe - it might be worth a look. And trust us: It's not. Just hold your memories of Jason Patric, Kiefer and the Coreys close to your heart, and pretend you never even knew they'd made a straight-to-video sequel twenty years later that has none of the comedy or the charm of Joel Schumacher's beloved slice of '80s horror cheese. You'll be a better person for not knowing.
2. Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996)
How do you kill a horror franchise built on body horror, unknowable demons and rampant sadism? Well, first you fill the audience in on the demons' backstory, thus making them less scary than strangely sympathetic ... and then you slowly run the narrative in circles until you have nowhere to go but up. Literally. 'Hellraiser: Bloodline' is the one that takes place in outer space, where a bunch of idiot astronauts have a close encounter ... of the Cenobite kind! Oh, and also there's some stuff set in the past that goes into the origins of that infernal puzzle box. Whatever. Subsequent 'Hellraiser' movies dispensed with the mythology completely, probably because this movie renders it totally incomprehensible. I understand Clive Barker sheds a single tear every time he cashes his residual checks.
3. Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers (1992)
Has any movie maniac been as ill-served as poor old Michael Myers? John Carpenter's original 'Halloween' is to slasher movies what 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' is to the cannibal movie - a brilliant, unmatchable chiller that pares horror down to its absolute essentials; the difference is that 'Halloween' uses stylish, elegant scares to get under your skin where 'Chainsaw' stands there and screams bloody murder at you. Subsequent attempts to re-create Carpenter's eerie formalism resulted in the occasional spark - 'Halloween IV' is actually pretty solid - but by the time the sixth movie lumbered along, with Paul Rudd (miscast, but still pretty dedicated) as the last name on Michael's to-do list, audiences were begging that nice Dr. Loomis to put the big lug out of his misery. No such luck, though; two more sequels would follow before Miramax pulled the plug on the whole mess, paving the way for Rob Zombie's abominable 2007 'reimagining.'
4. A Nightmare On Elm Street Part IV: The Dream Master (1988)
There are those who argue that the nadir of the 'Nightmare' series is Part V, 'The Dream Child,' which is the one where Freddy Krueger is trying to rebirth himself into the world by possessing a fetus. Others insist that it's the sixth film, 'Freddy's Dead,' with its Tom and Roseanne Arnold cameos and its doofy 3D sequence. However, they are wrong; the low point is Part IV, which is the one where Robert Englund switched gears from playing Freddy as a grisly, vengeful tormentor to a kind of overmoistened game-show host, dispatching his victims with a pun and a wave. Yeah, there were a couple of laughs in Part III, 'Dream Warriors' - the theme song was performed by Dokken, how could it not be funny? - but Freddy was still a character to be feared, not cheered. It wasn't until his creator took back the reins in 'Wes Craven's New Nightmare' that Freddy got his menace back ... even if no one could really understand what he was mad about in that one.
5. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
The 'Friday the 13th' brand quickly settled into a comfortable rut of movies in which deformed maniac Jason Voorhees slaughters horny teenagers in increasingly gimmicky ways for the enjoyment of teenage gorehounds everywhere; clearly, all that was left for the bored screenwriters was to dare each other to make the set-ups even more preposterous. Part IV: Jason gets killed! Part V: Jason's not even in it! Part VI: He's back, and he's an unstoppable rotting corpse! But when Manuel Fidello and Daryl Haney sat down to bash out Part VII, something inspired them to bring a little Stephen King vibe to the party, in the form of Lar Park-Lincoln's psychokinetic, virginal heroine. Oh, sure, Jason's all powerful and unstoppable when he can get his hands on you, but what if his victim is clear across the room, throwing beer bongs at him with her mind? (Answer: It looks kind of stupid.) Turns out there's a shark in Crystal Lake, and 'The New Blood' is the one where Jason jumps right over it.
6. Howling III: The Marsupials (1987)
It's amazing, really, that the thudding disaster that was Philippe Mora's 'Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf' wasn't enough to kill the series stone dead in 1985. But 'Howling II' came out at the dawn of home-video, and it had a lot of nudity, so most of its sales were obviously driven by teenage boys who'd just discovered the reverse-scan button for the first time. The producers turned to Mora to re-create his success on an even cheaper level; possibly as a way of flipping them the bird, he delivered a tender love story about a young Australian wolf-girl (Imogen Annesley) who gets knocked up by a regular human (Leigh Biolos) and proceeds to ... well ... nurse her baby in a little tummy pouch, like a kangaroo. Mora did not return for any of the four subsequent sequels, all of which somehow neglect to acknowledge this film in the slightest.
7. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)
Tobe Hooper's 1974 original was the ultimate expression of no-holds-barred horror - a gritty, uncompromising terror machine that grabbed you from the very first frames and shook you back and forth in your seat until the credits rolled, or you passed out. Hooper was never a director of vision, but his uninspired choices worked to underscore the blankness of the movie's universe, and the utter absence of morality in a world of redneck cannibals who prey on anyone unlucky enough to wander up their drive. Twelve years later, flush with the commercial and critical success of 'Poltergeist,' Hooper was in precisely the wrong place, artistically, to return to the world that made him a legend - and the result is a Day-Glo disaster made up of incoherent violence, bad jokes and lame attempts at Reagan-era political commentary, with an apparently unhinged Dennis Hopper standing in for all that is good and decent as a religious zealot who believes God has sent him after the man-eating Sawyer family. Two more sequels were just as lame, though they're worth seeking out for early appearances by Viggo Mortensen, Matthew McConaughey and Renée Zellweger.
Re: Horror Franchises that Should be Killed Off
It's a shit list and ill-researched. There will be a rebuttal. For now....
There was never a Lost Boys "franchise." Hellraiser regained its footing within the next immediate sequel (if only to lose it again). Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is a strong concept executed very poorly, but to say it killed the series is grossly inaccurate. H20, while its merits are often debated, was a pop culture hit and generally well received by everyone. Resurrection killed the original franchise and I'm sick of defending Zombie's remake to people who didn't like the first one enough to be offended in the first place. The Dream Master is actually a series high point for the Nightmare flicks. Not all of us think hair metal is funny, either. That point in which Englund's Freddy turned sarcastic? It's a syndicated TV show called Freddy's Nightmares, which in itself is actually pretty fun. The Dream Child is the weakest link. Friday VII features the best zombie Jason, the one that would identify him in pop culture from then on out. It also introduced fan favorite Kane Hodder and was originally conceived as an early attempt at Freddy vs. Jason, hence the supernatural foe. I won't dispute any of the Howling sequels. We have a thread on ... that. TCM 2 is an operatic masterpiece of carnage, better directed and executed than the (still superior) original and misunderstood by most.
Re: Horror Franchises that Should be Killed Off
Von pretty much hit the nail on the head. Terrible article. Whoever wrote it should be fired. Not only is Lost Boys not a franchise, he didn't even get the correct year that Halloween VI was released. Shameful.
Two franchises that should be on this list are Amityville and Child's Play, although both have either had or are about to have the remake treatment.
- Gunslinger
- Rep: 88
Re: Horror Franchises that Should be Killed Off
Yeah James, I noticed that the H6 release year was off by three years!!! Great research.
After seeing SAW V I think it is time to kill it off as well. In my opinion it failed miserably.
Re: Horror Franchises that Should be Killed Off
Am I the only one who has a soft spot for Hellraiser: Bloodline?
Granted, the film is flawed, but particularly the workprint I've seen (containing additional scenes) offers glimpses of innovation and worthiness. The film was castrated by haphazard postproduction.
Re: Horror Franchises that Should be Killed Off
No I also liked Hellraiser IV sic.
Here's my breakdown of the list.
1) The Lost Boys should've never gotten sequel treatment. According to Corey Haim a Lost Boys III is in the works, minus Feldman, but that just might be passive-aggressive at this point. Who the fuck cares anyways...
2) Hellraiser went south with 1992's Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth. Not 1996's Bloodline. Hellraiser III was godawful, and truely one of the worst films i've ever seen. Bloodline rebounded, but not by much. Inferno at least attempted to re-invent, although I recently reviewed this and it is a bit flat. I actually thought Hellseeker, which continued the new formula was better. Deader was too muddled to really understand wtf was going on. To my surprise, despite it's very 'teen' approach, Hellworld was quite good, with a very interesting twist. It isn't the first two films, but I honestly feel of all of the sequels past the second, 2004's Hellraiser VIII: Hellworld is the best. Thankfully the upcoming reboot, will take us back to the very sinister and unique first film, which in 1987 was a total breath of fresh air.
3) The Halloween franchise should've stopped after 1982's Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Halloween III was a stellar sequel, quite underrated by most, and the most original film since Carpenter's original. I liked Carpenter (who was just producing by that point) idea of turning into a seasonal anthology franchise. Fans didn't, and Myers was unneccessarily resurrected for 1988's Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. Although the film was quite good for a 'Part 4', it was still not close to the original Carpenter-produced three, and the franchise should've just been left alone as a trilogy after Witch. I don't think H2O or Zombie's reboot should've ever happened either, in case you're wondering.
4) A Nightmare On Elm Street should've never had a sequel. 'nuff said.
5) I actually don't think Friday The 13th has ever hit a bad spot. Even when they do have a bad film they seem to rebound with the next. Mainly this is because the plot is very basic, and the formula is tried and true. 1, 2, 3, & 4 were all great with 4 being the best. 5 sucked. 6 ruled. 7 was average. 8 is good and underrated. Jason Goes To Hell was a nice change of pace. Jason X was just popcorn fun. And Freddy vs. Jason was just good fun. So I don't think this franchise ever really hit a bad spot to call it a day. Hopefully the reboot is good.
6) 1985's Howling II: Your Sister Is A Werewolf is single-handedly the best werewolf movie ever. They should've just stopped there. Nothing can top it... lmao.
7) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise should've stopped with Chainsaw 2. A very good sequel, with good comedy. It's a cult film. I love it. But future sequels were un-needed, even though I am partial to 1990's Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III.
Other franchises i'd like to comment on....
8) Psycho should never had any sequels, although II & IV were decent. Still, this should've stayed a stand-alone movie.
9) The George Romero "Dead" franchise should've stopped after 1985's Day of the Dead. Leaving it as a trilogy at that point, which it was for 20 years, left it as one of the great horror franchises in history. Now it's been watered down by the more recent sequels and remakes.
10) There should be MORE MORE MORE "Phantasm" sequels. Four ain't enough. That should actually be the tag line. Show Reggie on the front cover of Phantasm V with his shotgun and the tag line - "four ain't enough".
11) The Tremors franchise should've stopped after 1996's Tremors II: Aftershocks. The first two films are very very good, with imo, Tremors II being the best direct-to-video film ever made. Very good stuff. But 3 & 4 crossed the line into 'hokey' territory, even though they were both okay films. The short-lived TV series also further watered down the potency of the first two films.
- Gunslinger
- Rep: 88
Re: Horror Franchises that Should be Killed Off
Am I the only one who has a soft spot for Hellraiser: Bloodline?
Nope! That was a decent movie sic, the series is up and down but still has some good releases.
- 2008 Intentions
- Rep: 6
