Anyone heard from Jessica lately?

the_real_jessica

Thanks. I never fought so much in my entire life, i do it all for gaby.

bigbri

Its amazing the drive and dedication that kids can put in a person's life. I know I've never worked as hard in my life to ensure my kids' future.

Congrats on your good news, and may it continue to be on your side.

myillusions

Congratulations Jess! This is great news for you.

luckylittlelady

Hope everything keeps going your way

the_real_jessica

News :

Moving away to a new small appartment this saturday, at least, in a proper studio in a real town, with all commodities and all.

These have been the hardest 5 months of my entire life.

The custody is not settled and my son says ( when you come to think he is not 3 years old yet, he will be on the 3rd of december) he wants the man who hurt him to say sorry to him.

He takes his big winnie the pooh and big winnie hurts little winnie and after, big winnie says sorry to little winnie.

It's ever so sad...

I wish someone like axl talked to my son, because i can't find the right words, i don't know how it feels inside, and it breaks my heart because my son is getting violent and i want to stop the road he is taking and i don't know how.

Axl Rose, if you ever read this, would you please consider someone in this universe may need advice and this person is me, and i don't know anyone else who has lived what my son just lived but...you.

I'm a mother.

It's as this i need advice.

And you forumers, you may think i'm nuts to leave such a message, but don't condemn as i have done all and everything i possibly could to help my son.

But only two of a kind can relate and i can't relate to what happened to him.

It's your take.

strat0

Jessica we would never think that you're nuts.

the_real_jessica

I do, i have just left a message to a man i don't know, who has much more important things to do than this as his career is re- starting and he should be concentrating on this and nothing else, no distractions.

Plus, i don't want to cause a stir, or upset, and i yet, i wish i could know keys to get to where my son hurts inside, because i know the obvious, but there are things i see that make me affraid and i want to stop them now.

Before he takes the wrong road later on in life or before he ruins his life because some cunt took something that did not belong to him.

strat0

That's not being a nut Jessica. That's being a mother. Wanting, and hoping that you can somehow do something to make everything right. You feel helpless though because there's nothing you can do. You don't know how he feels or thinks. Jessica, even though some of us tell you not to worry, I know you still will. It's a mothers nature. I'll keep you and Gabriel in my prayers.
I haven't been through what he has but I know you and him still have a long road ahead. Please stay strong. And as Pualo Coelho said
"Fear reaches only to the point where the unavoidable begins; from there on, it loses its meaning. And all we have left is the hope that we are making the right decision."

myillusions

Hey Jessica, we are all here for you and you are not crazy for crying out for help for your son. You love him so much and your doing what any mother should do. Your acting like a real mother, a loving mother. So do not be ashamed. You and Gabby are always in my heart and always on my mind and I only wish you true happiness and love into both of your lives.

I hope the move goes well and you'll enjoy your new home. I hope you'll post some pics or at least email some to me once your settled in. If you ever need to talk you know how to find me. Just let me know okay sweetie! Please be in touch when you have a chance. I would love to hear from you.

P.S. I just sent you a message at another forum so I feel kind of stupid I didn't come here first to check how you were doing.

Lots of love to you!

the_real_jessica

strat0 wrote:

That's not being a nut Jessica. That's being a mother. Wanting, and hoping that you can somehow do something to make everything right. You feel helpless though because there's nothing you can do. You don't know how he feels or thinks. Jessica, even though some of us tell you not to worry, I know you still will. It's a mothers nature. I'll keep you and Gabriel in my prayers.
I haven't been through what he has but I know you and him still have a long road ahead. Please stay strong. And as Pualo Coelho said
"Fear reaches only to the point where the unavoidable begins; from there on, it loses its meaning. And all we have left is the hope that we are making the right decision."

I have ( ahead of me) years of trying to mend gaby, but i just can't do it alone.
It's going to take psychologists too.
I don't know where to go for advice, people in france are very cunty when it comes to what happened to him, they are in denial these sort of things can happen and do happen to children, and children as young as two.

For example, last night, i went to fetch gaby at school. He screamed and screamed for an hour, although we were out and about. Then, once he'd calmed down, he played the clown so everyone would notice him.

It's like this all the time :

Screams
I am the centre of the universe/needlove/needreassurance/lookatme

He goes into fits of anger or rage, he says no to everyone for the simplest things, he won't kiss or cuddle me anymore, it doesn't come back, he won't.

He hits other children, he purposely annoys or aggravates people, he swears, ect ect...

I just don't know what to do.

Plus, his biological father is doing the austruch ( burying his head in the sand) and gaby has not seen him for 6 weeks although he cries asking for his daddy :

The man who hurt him is legally his dad but is not his biological father.
Gaby asks for his biological father.

I have called his father up to 10 times a day every day, sent emails.
Even his own mother tried to reassure me, but there are no news.

Gaby was hurt by the only dad he'd lived with and as close as abandonned by his biological dad who can't cope it seems.

I can't bear to see my son suffer like this a few days from being 3 years old.

And no, i won't just embark into something stupid with any odd joebob just to give him a dad, i'm not stupid.

But it breaks my soul not being able to soothe my son.

If i lived in an ideal world, i'd win the euro lottery, take him away to some isolated place and apart from school and friends, spend all my life trying to mend his little soul, protected from the rest of the world.

I feel so sad...For him. And the only place i can talk about it is on the net because i have to pretend being permanently strong and happy for him.

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