Self Esteem

luckylittlelady

Is yours high or low and does it have any effect, good or bad on your life? Are you the sort of person who will go for a job interview and feel secure that you are as good as any of the other candidates or are you thinking you have no chance as everyone will be so much better than you? Has it affected relationships at all?

Strange subject I know but my little brain has been whirling.

DoubleTalkingJive

When I was younger and heavy it was low. Ever since I got myself in shape it's high. Not that self esteem should go by the way you look but for me my weight is what affects my self esteem.

It's definitely affected my relationships in the past because I stayed a bit too long with someone I shouldn't have and that wasn't good for me because I thought I couldn't get anyone else. I could have spared myself alot of horrendous bullshit and heartache had I just walked away.

I could definitely go in an interview and be completely confident, business is definitely a strong point for me.

monkeychow

I'm an odd mix in that i've always felt i was quite arrogant internally about my own skills and how dumb i think so many people are, but at the same time i'm shy, and have a history of letting people abuse me and not standing up for myself! So i guess its LOW LOW LOW for me.

Probably the reason why i've been single forever too...well that and the fuglyness! wink

James

I think self esteem fluctuates in most people. At least those that have suffered from depression or some form of mental illness. It comes in stages. One minute you can feel good about yourself and whatever is happening in your life, then you can feel like total shit. I have experienced both extremes many times.

I am not a big fan of huge crowds, yet this year I went to see M.I.A., going to two more of her shows next month, and possibly VH and/or Spice Girls after that. Going to five concerts in a year is completely unheard of for me. I guess I'm on one of the highs. I hope it lasts......

luckylittlelady

Jameslofton wrote:

I think self esteem fluctuates in most people. At least those that have suffered from depression or some form of mental illness. It comes in stages. One minute you can feel good about yourself and whatever is happening in your life, then you can feel like total shit. I have experienced both extremes many times.
..

James, you have hit the nail right on the head there. I can go from being on top of the world to feeling like shit in the blink of an eye.

Right now I'm feeling as bad as I've felt in a long time. The internet is really not helping me either, I'm just looking for things to make myself feel worse.

PaSnow

Honestly I have pretty low self-esteem. I don't really want to get into exactly why & all that, it just is, and always has been. Sure there's times I feel like the man, but it's just weak & shallow & doesn't last. I always second guess myself & things I say. I'm actually pretty shy, but in the last few years I sometimes just choose to not talk to people. It comes off better that way for me to intentionally not talk to people, than be shy.

Did it affect my relationships, yes. I'm perenially single, feel awkward when I'm out on dates, and not sure I have the confidence to maintain a long, healthy, serious relationship.

DoubleTalkingJive

PaSnow wrote:

Honestly I have pretty low self-esteem. I don't really want to get into exactly why & all that, it just is, and always has been. Sure there's times I feel like the man, but it's just weak & shallow & doesn't last. I always second guess myself & things I say. I'm actually pretty shy, but in the last few years I sometimes just choose to not talk to people. It comes off better that way for me to intentionally not talk to people, than be shy.
Did it affect my relationships, yes. I'm perenially single, feel awkward when I'm out on dates, and not sure I have the confidence to maintain a long, healthy, serious relationship.

I would have never thought you were shy by the way you post. Lots of people are shy once you get over the hump and get to know the person you should feel a bit more comfortable.

Confidence if a tricky thing because it's so up and down in life. I hope that you somehow be confident in yourself that one day you will have really long, healthy, serious relationship.

PaSnow

^^ That's interesting how we perceive others by their posts. I'm sure it's partly accurate, partly innacurate.

Yeah, at times I can be painfully shy. Get me in a group of four or ten, I'd be the one who talks the least. One thing I could never do was ask a girl out. Uggghhhh so many missed opportunities there. Girls at work, bars, places I'd go while shopping for stuff. Just this past Friday I was at the gym which was completely empty & I thought of asking the girl working there if she had plans afterwards (since it was a Friday night), anyway I didn't. I chickened out, went home & ate a pizza & a few beers. Such is life.

Saikin

It fluctuates with everyone. Like DTJ said, if your weight is up a little, you'll feel worse. If it's down a little, you'll feel better. Everyone experiences highs and lows based on different circumstances. There are also extremes (egoism, depression) that don't come as often, but the affects are much worse on the life than normal highs/lows.

I know personally that when my self esteem is low i don't feel like doing anything. When it's high i feel like i could take over the world. Unfortunately it fluctuates a lot with me. That's why just a couple years ago i was borderline annorexic.

DoubleTalkingJive

PaSnow wrote:

^^ That's interesting how we perceive others by their posts. I'm sure it's partly accurate, partly innacurate.

Yeah, at times I can be painfully shy. Get me in a group of four or ten, I'd be the one who talks the least. One thing I could never do was ask a girl out. Uggghhhh so many missed opportunities there. Girls at work, bars, places I'd go while shopping for stuff. Just this past Friday I was at the gym which was completely empty & I thought of asking the girl working there if she had plans afterwards (since it was a Friday night), anyway I didn't. I chickened out, went home & ate a pizza & a few beers. Such is life.

You ate a whole pizza and beers after the gym...LOL. See how guys can do that I wish I could Although lately I have been pretty lacksed with my diet.

Anyway, I have to admit, it must suck having to ask chicks out all the time, I myself have asked guys out on occasion but would do it during a conversation. Having low self esteem definitely can hurt that aspect of life for a guy.

Definitely like Saikin said, when feeling completely confident and happy with yourself you can take on the world.

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