How did people meet their partners?

monkeychow

HeyAll,

While this has the risk of turning into a "lonely hearts" post...i'm actually interested in how people met their match.

My situtation is i'm 30, and single, and looking to meet someone. But i'm discovering that in our current society there don't seem to be a lot of mechanisms for it.

I mean there is internet dating (which I have friends who have got married due to) which is fine - but so much is lost in the internet process - people often lie about themselves/have different personalities online. And even if they are straight up - its hard to tell chemistry on the net. Like in person you can tell in seconds if its someone you'll enjoy talking with or not. Online people can seem inteteresting, then you meet them in person and realise your not going to get along.

Then theres the bar/pub/club scene. This seems to be how most people meet. Maybe its because i live in Melbourne Australia which isn't a big place by international standards. But its not like these places are flooded with people. its the same faces at the same venues all the time. Its funny cos I recently read in that book about about the life of a pick-up guru how he spent his time practising his skills in bars etc...but there just arn't the single girls around here in these bars. He'd be finished here in a day! Maybe i should move to the usa.

Then theres networking. But all my friends and social circles are now married, which closes the door there.

Anyway...the point of this thread isn't for me to complain...its more just that i'm interested to see what other people think - historical comunities - like those of our parents and grandparents were more orginised for people to couple-off I guess - like they had arranged dinner dances and so forth, and people would actively work to avoid people getting left on the shelf.

Now its socially acceptable to live alone, or be unmarried/divorsed/ ..it seems like some of the structres are just gone. I can see that as a good thing in some ways - i'm not saying women should be forced to marry abusive men and that kind of thing...however at the same time...it seems everyone is married to their jobs, and you have to be quite lucky to meet a person, as we don't have the social systems in place anyomore to do so....

Just my 2c!

Neemo

i met my wife because she was a roommate of a freind of mine from school

i'm sure the wives of your freinds have some single freinds...though you dont wanna ask them set you up on a date that would seem like you are desparate and the women will talk and it will be a pitty date

a freind of mine from work was single....and i had another freind who's sister was single and my wife and i thought they were perfect for each other, so we set them up for a date (and they were pretty leery about it but they humored us and agreed to it)...that was 6-7 years ago...now they are married and have a little boy about 6 months old...drop subtle hints to your freinds that being single sucks and stuff then maybe one of them will get the hint and they may set you up with something...cuz ya never know

the_real_jessica

Well, my most serious love stories were met :

1) The guy was my dancing school's headmistress's son
2) A friend's flatmate
3) A flatmate's friend
4) At work
5) Through his work

Mikkamakka

1, school
2, school
3, she was my teacher tongue
4, @ a Guns N' Roses fan site

buzzsaw

I met my wife a year to the day from when I was supposed to marry somebody else. I was drunk and the first thing I said to her is "you have a year to talk me out of getting married". I knew I had a winner when that didn't scare her away and we talked until 8AM the next day (as I sobered up).

I don't think looking for it works. I think it works best when you're not looking for it, but that's just my opinion.

DoubleTalkingJive

I met my husband at my job. He worked there but at night, we had a bowling league and he joined it so I got to know him. Now both of us work during the day but he's in another part of our building so sometimes I go by and say hi. It works, some people think how can you be married and work in the same place, the same hours but since we don't see much of each other during the day, it's fine.

Sky Dog

at work...:smile:

Sky Dog

and here is a funny story from last night. My wife and daughter went to Florida yesterday for spring break. Being home alone and the dog that I am, I go out to watch the Final Four. Start chatting with some 22 year old hot little lassies (only 19 years younger than me!:laugh:). So, the first girl tells me her name "Colleen" and lo and behold the second girl is "Colleen" as well. You're thinking big deal right? My wife's name is Colleen......not a good sign. On top of that they both went to University of Georgia (which is where both me and my wife went) and they were in my wife's sorority (AOPI). Moral of the story? There are larger forces at work in this earthly realm.....:ummm:

luckylittlelady

buzzsaw wrote:

I don't think looking for it works. I think it works best when you're not looking for it, but that's just my opinion.

I completely agree. Stuff will happen when it does and not before.

I met my (now ex) husband at a pub one New Years eve. We played a bit of pool, then shared a kiss at midnight. Then he followed me home and climbed in through my toilet window and got into bed with me.

Aussie

I met my current girlfriend at the pub. I have to say that generally pubs (2 in particular for me) have been a happy hunting ground. But that said, it really depends on the individual bar because there are some pubs where I couldn't pick up no matter what I tried. Whereas 2 of my regular haunts were highly successful. Maybe that was due to the fact I was more relaxed at them (familir sourroudings, more condfident or relaxed, less concerned about meeting someone or something - I dunno).

I do know that chicks seem to be able to smell desperation. It's weird. If I was single for a bit and trying really hard to cut one from the herd, I would find that the girls seemed to have an uncanny sixth sense that would alert them. Consequently, I found I met most girls when I really wasn't trying (either I was just out with my mates having a good time, or I was out with another girl).

A great example was at a wedding recently with my girlfriend and this really agressive girl came up to me on the dancefloor and bascailly kinda shoved my girlfriend out of the way to dance with me. My girlfriend then stood next to my mates on the side and they all laughed at me fending off the maneater. This bird then asked me if I wanted to go outside with her. Same night I got the big come on from one of the waitreses there.

My mates and I were discussing this and we all agreed "why does this sort of thing never happen when your single"? - we could only conclude that it's because of what I said earlier - somehow we must act differently when single - look too keen or desperate or something - and they sense it. Maybe they see me looking around like a Meercat and it gives the game away - lol

For me going out with a few mates was the easiest way to meet people. Although I'm 33 now and most of my mates are either married or right under the thumb so, it would be hard if I was single and wanting to go out all the time to meet girls because I would struggle for a wingman week in week out.

A single mate of mine used to meet heaps of girls over the net. He never did much good with the ladies, but since he started using the net he has chopped a heap of girls!!! But he did seem to attract a high proportion of bunny boilers from that method. But then on the flip side, my sister met her husband online and he's a top bloke.

I think I prefer the face to face meetings myself - like at a bar etc. I gotta also say alcohol was a great help for me too because it gave me the balls to go up to girls that I might not normally. After a while it kinda became habit forming and I didn't need to be smashed before I was confident enough to just go up to a random girl - no matter how much I once would have thought she was out of my league. I got to the point where I didn't care if the girl I approached blew me off, coz I didn't take it to mean anything, I would just move on. In fact my current girlfriend tried to ignore me when I first went up to her - but I won that game in the end wink

Pick up lines never worked for me either, I would just go up and talk to them about anything normal. My current girlfriend I went up to her and simply said "It was a great win by the Dockers wasn't it" - then started talking footy (turns out she was a Freo fan too so that was a bonus).

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