You are not logged in. Please register or login.
- Topics: Active | Unanswered
Re: The Rant Thread
Well I'll keep this short... as can be. Anyone remember years ago I ranted about a girl I had fallen for when I was like 23 and over the years we just stayed friends? well......
Back in January her and I started hanging out a lot. By february her and I were dating and by mid february thinsg were extremely serious. Pretty much everything I ever wanted with this girl except something was up.... I started to realize she had an issue with alchohol. The more her and I became comfortable with each other the more comfortable she became with drinking in front of me to the point it was scary. She lost her job, and was drinking more than I'd ever seen anyone drink. By the first week in March hera nd I were fighting all the time because she was slowly killing herself with booze. One night she overdosed on pills. She called me though to say "I love you and I'm sorry" the way she said it was kinda strange so I ripped over to her house as fast as I cold to see her pill bottles emptied out. Call 911 they come take her away and she's ina coma for 3 days. Finally wakes up in the hospital and stays for another 4. I was there the entire time with her. When she got out she asked me to move in with her temporarily just so she felt safe from herself. I stayed with her for two weeks and when she felt she was ok I moved back to my place. We went on this life success course together in Calgary and everything seemed great untill BOOM drinking again. she'd go on these week long benders then get straight, then a week bender again. I supported this girl to the best of my ability and I truely did love her(still do, always have) and finally one night she called me crying saying she wants to go to a recovery clinic. Thank god! So we set it all up, I drove her to the detox center, she did that and then went away to the actual recovery clinic for 45 days. She called me every single night to talk and I was the only one to go visit her while she was there. Anyways the day she comes out of rehab was June 10th. I have seen her one time since then because according to her she needed time to be single and just focus on herself. You know what fair enough but as days went by after June 10th she no longer returned any of my calls, texts or emails. I stopped trying to contact her late June.........
I tried dating this other girl but that didn't work out.
Anyways Rant part of my story the girl I was in love with, supported her till the end called me today to tell me she's pregnant with some other dudes baby! I had no clue she was even seeing other guys let alone fucking other guys since she got out of rehab.
I told her I truely hope she can stay sober(to my knowledge 116 days and counting) and find happiniess but that she has just thrown away our friendship. Told her that I have been in love with her for 11 years and that she just put the final nail in the coffin of that. She was crying and I just said take care and hung up the phone.
FUCK!:flame:
I guess that's closure. She's got some other dude's kid inside her. She's a different person to me now.
- Randall Flagg
- Rep: 139
Re: The Rant Thread
Dude, while not as dramatic as your story, I've had a similar ending in my life. All the hollywood movies never get it right. You'll hurt, and you'll hurt for a long time. Christ it's been 7 years for me and I still think about it. But you will move on and meet other people. I blasted Estranged for weeks on end after my incident, so maybe that will help you. Just don't partake in the same destructive behavior she was guilty of. It doesn't make it any easier.
No words can make your situation any better. Just don't do the thing I did and entertain the notion of winning/accepting her back and raising that kid as your own. It just leads to more pain.
Best of luck, and keep breathing one day at a time.
Re: The Rant Thread
I've been with my wife for 12 years. I love her with all my heart. That doesn't mean there aren't days when I wonder if we're going to make it, where I wonder if I'm better off alone, or where I wonder what my life would have been like if I had married my "first love". That is the way it is. Love isn't easy, you have to work at it. It's hard work.
The reality is that I know I'm better off now than I would have been with that "first love". I know that. But sometimes we romanticize the past and remember all of the good things and the bad memories tend to fade away. You'll always remember your first love. Always. That doesn't mean you can't move on and it doesn't mean you can't have closure. You can have that first love and the pain that usually goes with it, and still go on to be happy...but only if you allow yourself to do so. This isn't about her anymore...it's now about you.
I'm not encouraging you to chase after her or anything like that, but if it were me, I would want to understand what happened, why she called you now and not before, and any other questions you'd like answers to. You can have closure on the love part without having it be like this. I don't know that you'll ever completely get closure until you have the answers to those questions - even if you've moved on.
Re: The Rant Thread
I've talked to her parents(who love me) and I've talked with her best freind. The whole reason she distanced herself is apparently it was too hard to look at me. I saw too much of her at her worst and she's embarassed by it. The thing is I've always cared for this girl and her problems didn't deter me one bit. Never judged her, never spoke poorly of her, never betrayed any of her privacy to others. Always knew she was and could be and amazing person if she could pull it together, so what pisses me off is the second she was in a good place, healthy, seemingly happy, sober, she ditched me. Then the second life throws a curveball her way she calls me up to tell me she's pregnant.
You're right its about me now and I'm tired of the whole thing. It's been a "chase" for 11 years and I'm done with it because in my heart I know she only wants me when things are bad because she knows I'm really the only one who has ever supported her or genuinely cared for her. Well as selfish as this may seem she fucked it up one too many times. I have no desire to be with her now that she's pregnant with some random dudes kid. Fuck it.
That's life. I thought long and hard why we've been in each other's life for so long and it's clear. It's because she was dealing with somthing where nobody else would've stood by her. I was they guy that truely wanted to be with her and was prepared to stick with her through almost anything(not being pregnant with some other dude's kid). And in reality had it not been for me she'd have died the night she overdosed so... that's it. People are in your life for a reason and the reason her and I were conected is so that she could have this second chance at life. A sober life and a chance to be a mother I guess. Just not with me. The sad part is her family absolutely loves me and her mom even said to me with tears in her eyes that I'm her guardian angel.
- metallex78
- Rep: 194
Re: The Rant Thread
Damn man, I feel for you dude.
That certainly is a fucked up situation. But as hard as it may be, you just have to move on from her. Unless, like suggested, you go down the path of taking on a kid that isn't yours, which it doesn't seem like you're willing to do, and is completely understandable.
I like the way you summed it up though, you were there to get her a second chance at life which it looks like she would have thrown away if you weren't there. It sucks that you didn't end up with her in the end, but putting it like that, puts a positive spin on an unfortunate situation.
I've recently fallen out of love with the girl that I was ranting about on here a few months ago, but I still work at the same office with her, and all I hear these days is her going on about her dickhead boyfriend. He even sent her flowers at work today and she showed no restraint in flaunting it in front of me.
Especially when she knows I'm not happy that she's with another guy and not me.
Women can be the most evil creatures on this planet when they want to be.
Re: The Rant Thread
Been there, aside the pregnancy bit, tho.
Eventually you get frustrated to the nature of the "relationship" and move on. Sure, moving on is not a simple feat, but you've taken the first steps and will require time to get it together again.
All I can say dude, is you're on the right path. You've done everything you felt you possibly could and have maintained your integrity by leaving. Anything else at this point would've been an injustice inflicted upon yourself.
Rediscover life as yourself now for a while. The nagging thoughts will remain for a while (and will keep popping up every now & then), but you'll do well to have a few confidants in real life with whom you can mull over your moods.
You've done all you could for her. Focus on yourself for a change.
Re: The Rant Thread
Urgh, that's downright harsh. Like a movie gone very wrong.
If you ask me, you've given her plenty of chances to change her shit. She didn't listen, and she won't listen in the future either. Some people you just can't reach, there's some you just can't help.
The drinking issue, alongside a baby, it reminds me of work. It's what I deal with every day. Young people taking all the wrong choices. If there's one wrong choice they can do, they take it and on top of it they get pregnant or something. It's bloody hard, and it's almost impossible to help. The damage was done so many years ago.
You've done what you can, and much much more.
Re: The Rant Thread
I've talked to her parents(who love me) and I've talked with her best freind. The whole reason she distanced herself is apparently it was too hard to look at me. I saw too much of her at her worst and she's embarassed by it. The thing is I've always cared for this girl and her problems didn't deter me one bit. Never judged her, never spoke poorly of her, never betrayed any of her privacy to others. Always knew she was and could be and amazing person if she could pull it together, so what pisses me off is the second she was in a good place, healthy, seemingly happy, sober, she ditched me. Then the second life throws a curveball her way she calls me up to tell me she's pregnant.
You're right its about me now and I'm tired of the whole thing. It's been a "chase" for 11 years and I'm done with it because in my heart I know she only wants me when things are bad because she knows I'm really the only one who has ever supported her or genuinely cared for her. Well as selfish as this may seem she fucked it up one too many times. I have no desire to be with her now that she's pregnant with some random dudes kid. Fuck it.
That's life. I thought long and hard why we've been in each other's life for so long and it's clear. It's because she was dealing with somthing where nobody else would've stood by her. I was they guy that truely wanted to be with her and was prepared to stick with her through almost anything(not being pregnant with some other dude's kid). And in reality had it not been for me she'd have died the night she overdosed so... that's it. People are in your life for a reason and the reason her and I were conected is so that she could have this second chance at life. A sober life and a chance to be a mother I guess. Just not with me. The sad part is her family absolutely loves me and her mom even said to me with tears in her eyes that I'm her guardian angel.
One of the hardest lessons any GOOD human being will ever learn is how our relationships, whether friendship, family or love, sometimes are completely pre-destined to have a certain allotted life span and nothing more. Now I haven't had much experience in this area, but someone very close to me has learned that lesson several times very hard, and I was the shoulder that was leaned on.
Like you said, looking on the bright side -- you were in her life to SAVE her life, and in a round-about way, save the life of her unborn child.
However... looking on the realistic side, she is an INCREDIBLY SELF-CENTERED NUTJOB. And that is the reason her life is the way it is. I have seen time and time again, almost un-countable times (despite really not being THAT old) girls who left and right will use and use and use and/or under-appreciate the men they are with so much to the extreme, that they will walk away from these men, choose utter garbage as replacements.
I had a girl whom I knew off-and-on my whole life, and although I wasn't in love, I did have a crush. Long story short, she gave me the run the around, and ultimately I "met" the guy I lost out to. The mother fucker was total skid row AND a scumbag on top of it. No lie, no bias, straight up.
And then it dawned on me... why does she pass up me for this literally piece of shit? Because she has NO self-esteem. Despite narcissistic-like behavior, deep within her sub-conscious she knows she is equally a piece of crap. A low self-esteem, depraved girl doesn't feel worthy of a "good man" and feels completely inferior. She also doesn't feel she can live up to that man's standards. And thus she chooses the piece of shit.
And that's what I feel your "nightmare" of a 'first love' did to you. She never fully committed to you whether now or the past decade, because while in the throws of addiction and you seeing her at her worst, she didn't feel worthy of a good man like yourself, YET at the same time she knew you were the only man with the love, care and compassion to help be there for her, when most men and probably her family would tell her to fuck off.
The sad and tragic thing of it all -- is they bring it on themselves. For years I believed that for every effect, there's a cause. If you have a bad 23-year old, or even 30-year old.... i'll show you a poor parent. And most of the time, even in the parent's love, there's usually a nurture and enabling problem the parent creates, alot of time not even realizing it. And so they ARE a part of the problem, despite what they think.
BUT, what I have discovered is there are some parents, who were perfectly fine parents who did their very best, and still it wasn't enough. Sociology trumped psychology, and social aspects had a stronger effect on their child, and developed flawed and corrupted thinking young, almost like a buggy computer. As they person gets older, it just gets worse and worse.
So you saved her life... hopefully she's doing better, despite herself destroying your friendship/relationship for absolutely fucking nothing. That's how stupid and lazy and emotionally-selfish these people are.
You probably don't want to hear this, and hell her parents probably don't want to hear this, but you are TEN TIMES better off having her out of your life. There is no reason to expell any more of your life, time and energy of a fucking WORTHLESS, lost cause, shouldn't currently exist in the space time continuum, "it".
The only reason she even bothered trying to contact you again after that extended period of down time, is because she fucked up AGAIN, she hasn't learned absolutely ANYTHING, and so she's relying on her "life janitor", you, whom she's abusing your love for her, to once again come in and help the little BABY (her, not her kid), clean her life up again.
It's not fair to you, it's not fair to her friends, it's not fair to her unborn child, it's not fair to her parents. The best thing everyone she knows can do for her right now, is to just abandon her and finally let her fly on her own. She'll either make it or she won't.
But they won't do that. I guarantee you now that you're not there for her, she'll rely on her parents to raise that kid. Because that's what pieces of shit like her do.
If i'm wrong, i'm wrong. And best of luck to her, but she's gonna have to prove herself. Right now she's dog dirt.
Damn man, I feel for you dude.
That certainly is a fucked up situation. But as hard as it may be, you just have to move on from her. Unless, like suggested, you go down the path of taking on a kid that isn't yours, which it doesn't seem like you're willing to do, and is completely understandable.I like the way you summed it up though, you were there to get her a second chance at life which it looks like she would have thrown away if you weren't there. It sucks that you didn't end up with her in the end, but putting it like that, puts a positive spin on an unfortunate situation.
I've recently fallen out of love with the girl that I was ranting about on here a few months ago, but I still work at the same office with her, and all I hear these days is her going on about her dickhead boyfriend. He even sent her flowers at work today and she showed no restraint in flaunting it in front of me.
Especially when she knows I'm not happy that she's with another guy and not me.Women can be the most evil creatures on this planet when they want to be.
The best thing you can do for that cunt, is to just ignore her. Don't let it get to you, find something to do, and literally pretend she doesn't exist.
WOMEN HATE THAT
It'll drive her nuts. Its obvious she's playing with you. Cunts like her, literally sit around with their girlfriends (just like Russ has mentioned in that past), about how they fuck with certain guys.
And emotional, "nice" guys are always the easiest prey for these sacks of douche juice.
No, I don't have any anger issues at all. 
Re: The Rant Thread
so yeah some guy that my freind knows was selling tickets to his wife and my wife for the pearl jam show tonight in hamilton...the girls were stoked, i was on kid duty....so they get to the show and turns out they were stolen tickets and they wont let them in the venue...
that fucking blows! 
