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Re: What Song Describes Your Current Mood?
Well if she's not dating your friend anymore, why didn't make your move?
I did kinda. I mean I told her how i felt but she said she didn't feel the same. she said maybe one day things may change, but right now she just wants to be friends.
So I didn't push. And I knew she was interested in this guy, so I just accepted that for now she loved me as a friend and nothing more.
I still let her know the way i feel about her though, and honestly i don't see my feelings towards her changing much that soon.
Re: What Song Describes Your Current Mood?
Forget it. Seriously.
That is the death knell from a woman. Not to depress you, but you're in the classic situation of unrequited love. I think everyone can relate to it at some point in their life.
There's going to be people in your life that you feel strong feelings for, hell in some situations - "the one" - and they just aren't going to feel the same about you, and there's nothing you can do about it. You can't change their mind, you can't change their perception, they just aren't attracted to you in that way.
That's why when I hear people say cliched statements like, "you've got to be friends first", that's such bullshit, because that comment comes from women alot, and ONLY applies to men in an ironic twist. I think it's very easy for men to take a friendship, perceive it a certain way, sexualize it, and adapt to that change. Not all, but some. But women, almost never do it. If they perceive you to be a 'good friend' from day one, it's 99% likely that's all they'll ever see you as.
To pardon a term from Queen... it's a kind of magic. There's something different, that's hard to describe, that has to be there that makes it more than just a friendship.
I feel sorry that she didn't feel the same way. I can feel it as I type it, because i've been there before. The best thing you can do is to put it behind you, but don't deny those feelings. When you look in the mirror, remember that you felt a true love for another person, and the fact they didn't receprocate it the same way to you, doesn't make that love any less real. Know that you have a loving heart, and that's all that really matters at the end of the day.
Re: What Song Describes Your Current Mood?
Forget it. Seriously.
That is the death knell from a woman. Not to depress you, but you're in the classic situation of unrequited love. I think everyone can relate to it at some point in their life.
There's going to be people in your life that you feel strong feelings for, hell in some situations - "the one" - and they just aren't going to feel the same about you, and there's nothing you can do about it. You can't change their mind, you can't change their perception, they just aren't attracted to you in that way.
That's why when I hear people say cliched statements like, "you've got to be friends first", that's such bullshit, because that comment comes from women alot, and ONLY applies to men in an ironic twist. I think it's very easy for men to take a friendship, perceive it a certain way, sexualize it, and adapt to that change. Not all, but some. But women, almost never do it. If they perceive you to be a 'good friend' from day one, it's 99% likely that's all they'll ever see you as.
To pardon a term from Queen... it's a kind of magic. There's something different, that's hard to describe, that has to be there that makes it more than just a friendship.
I feel sorry that she didn't feel the same way. I can feel it as I type it, because i've been there before. The best thing you can do is to put it behind you, but don't deny those feelings. When you look in the mirror, remember that you felt a true love for another person, and the fact they didn't receprocate it the same way to you, doesn't make that love any less real. Know that you have a loving heart, and that's all that really matters at the end of the day.
Great post. Karma.
Also, this chick is not only a game player, but plays it very well. She has zero hesitation in bouncing from one dude to the next, and not once was Strato considered as a fling in between, or even a "rebound" relationship.
Its not happening. Ever. Your time and feelings would be better spent on a woman deserving of your affection.
Re: What Song Describes Your Current Mood?
See that'll probably be the hardest part. I'm the type of person who tends to bottle everything up. all emotions, pain, everything. There's really only 2 people I know that I feel I can talk to and confide in, and in turn feel the same about me. One is a very good friend I've known since Elementary school, and the other is her.
Re: What Song Describes Your Current Mood?
And that might be the problem. She knows 'too much' about you. There's no mystery involved in getting to know you.
To be completely honest, i've never seen a steady, long-term relationship, of any kind, where the two partners didn't have connection issues. They knew each other, of course, and intimately, but they still have core differences that leave the relationship imperfect.
When two people are practically identical, they ironically, get very bored very quickly. Because the whole process is predictable. It's like dating yourself.
Not saying this is the issue, but it could be possible.
And i'll even take James statement, one step further. She might care for you 'so much', that she stays away from you romantically, because she KNOWS she's a user, and doesn't want to hurt you, like she doesn't have a problem with doing with other men. Just a thought.
Sadly, there's women out there, through either prejudice or conditioning, do not view men, the one's they settle down with, in a romantic sense. It becomes ALL about security, how they can use and manipulate them, and what puts them in the most comfortable situation in the relationship, rather than love itself.
Re: What Song Describes Your Current Mood?
Is it weird that i talk to her more than her boyfriend?
Yes it is, and eventually you're gonna be fighting one of the series of guys she fucks. I can tell you right now that if my girlfriend had some dude hanging on her every word and move, I would be paying him a visit.
You need to step away from this chick, friend or no friend. You're clearly infatuated with her, and the road of infatuation leads straight into the road of stalking. I'm not saying you're a stalker, just saying you're headed down that same road.
I've never talked about this incident on a forum before, and never will again either. However, it shows how close a normal person(well, as normal as I've ever been) can go down a dark road that you definitely don't want to travel.
It happened when I lived in Seneca, MO. A few months before college. This amazingly hot chick worked at one of the two video stores in town. This little shit hole was like Mayberry. Basically everyone knew everybody, and even though I didn't know her that well, it felt like I did. Used to talk to her while paying for my rentals. Well, I developed a pretty big crush on this chick(her name was Mindy, hello if you're a lurker 
), and I started putting myself in situations where I would see her. Kinda creepy looking back on it. I'd see her at the video store, grocery store,park,etc. One day, I saw her with a guy while getting gas at the gas station, and I almost blew my stack, literally. Its the closest I've ever came to beating two people to a pulp without actually using violence. It was then that I realized that this infatuation with this chick who clearly wasn't gonna reciprocate and only thought of me as a customer/very casual friend was not gonna have a happy ending if I didn't cool it. It wasn't gonna have a happy ending anyways, but you know what I mean.
So I forced myself to not go to the video store, and I also avoided other stores in town for several weeks. Would drive to Joplin when I needed something. When I started frequenting the town hang outs again, I thought it was funny how I never saw her anymore, which shows how I was about to go off the rails on a crazy train. Once I started school, this incident quickly became a minor and forgotten footnote. Thank God. 
That was about 16 years ago, and it amazes me that I just didn't ask her out on a date while talking to her. While I technically did not stalk her, I can understand how certain conditions can lead to a normal, run of the mill person entering that mindset.
If anyone wants a mental image of this woman, she looked kinda like Jill Schoelen(80s horror fans know who I'm talking about).
While obviously not the same situation as yours, there's a lesson to be learned in that story. Cool it. Step back. Take a breather. Hang out with someone else. Go fuck someone to get your mind a light year away from this girl. She doesn't want you. Period. Spend your time on someone who does.
Re: What Song Describes Your Current Mood?
James, the thing is is that we're both still kids. We both are confused. I mean she started off as a friend, and I'm still one of the very very very few people she feels she can confide in. I mean as young as we are she's been through some horrbile stuff and her boyfriend doesn't want to talk about any of it. I mean she was pretty upset because she found out she might have to testify in court about some of the things she went through a few years ago.
Don't think I'm missing your point James because I absolutely understand what your saying.
I just know she knows she can trust me and can rely on me. Like I said If she wants a friend I will always be that for her.
I just think it's a bit slack on his part to not be supportive or consoling when it comes to his girlfriend.
Re: What Song Describes Your Current Mood?
her boyfriend doesn't want to talk about any of it.
I just think it's a bit slack on his part to not be supportive or consoling when it comes to his girlfriend.
Thats not your concern though(and she'll eventually tell you that). She CHOSE a guy who doesn't give a shit. That is between the two of them, and same thing with the next guy she dates.
You act like its just about "friends", but you clearly want more than that, she doesn't, and you're at the point where you're basically judging the guy(s) she fucks.
No offense, but what the two of them do isn't really your business. If you value your friendship with her, you need to step away because she's gonna realize you are smothering her and trying to butt in and she's eventually gonna tell you to fuck off.
Like I said, find someone who is interested in you. Shouldn't waste your feelings and time on someone who isn't gonna reciprocate.
Re: What Song Describes Your Current Mood?
Once again... that's HER problem. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.
Be her friend, but stop getting so emotionally involved with it. Be her friend, listen, let her confide, give her advice, then stop. That's all you can do.
You said you made it clear to her how you felt, and she didn't feel the same way about you. That's her loss.
You can't be her protector, judging every boyfriend she has up to what you'd do.
You have to let the bird fly from the nest on her own. If she takes your advice seriously, then she'll see through these bad guys, and move on and try to keep finding someone better.
But when girls have those kind of boyfriends, one after the other after the other after the other... it begins to become a comment on them. Not men, or you. You said yourself, she has problems. As long as she keeps sleeping with men who are the representation of her problems or new problems, she'll continue to have... problems.
I want to encourage you, and reinforce that, but honestly... not only does this girl not seem interested in you, she doesn't seem to take your advice seriously at all. She might confide in you, but she doesn't seem to care about you imo, based on your statements.
This seems to be a TOTAL one way street, you like her. Alot. That's it, and that just isn't going to work.
There's plenty of people i'm estranged from in my life, that I cared deeply about them, and tried to help them and be there for them, and they couldn't care less. 'Cause it's all about them.
And that might be why her boyfriends don't want to talk about it. She's all about her, and that irritates them. She also could be a self-centered girl who gets involved with self-centered men, and just compounds her problems.
