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Re: The Rant Thread
Everyone acted hot under the collar... 
No one acted hot under the collar, except a poster, who took an 'in-general' rant personally. He then posted inflammatory comments directly towards the poster, and when he was called out on it by the site staff, turned around and started shit with them for simply acting rationally. THEN, instead of accepting his time on the porch for acting out of line, circumvented his temp ban, by creating a new account (which in my eyes, equals an automatic IP ban), and the site's staff has continued to try to give him his way, and quell the issue.
Dr. Love is a great poster, who simply had a bad reaction to a statement by Randall Flagg, which didn't address him personally. The only person acting nuts is him.
If he wanted peace & love, he should've just taken his ban, and returned later. But now, he wanted to hash it out, and it got hashed out. And then the mods are sitting back trying to say "we don't agree, but that's the way it is"... which is irrelevant. Even if the staff fully agreed with Randall or myself, that's their choice, and Dr. Love shouldn't question it. That's life. Some people are going to disagree with you. Almost everyone here understands that, thus the reason Randall didn't go crazy. What's the point?
At the end of the day, this site needs to make a stand that these kind of outbursts will not be tolorated. Anytime someone says something that might be controversial or over the top, and it offends someone, they have to deal with being subjected to 'cocksucker' and childish names, because of a statement.
Which wasn't even bad to begin with. Just anti-teacher. And all because of some fiancee?
Then when it's OBVIOUS why they're banned, they turn around and say it's a nazi mod, who's questioning their abilities to run a board?
Seriously, you've got to be kidding me. This is a child, throwing a temper tantrum, because someone hit a raw nerve, and they reacted too harshly.
If anything that is bold is stated on this board, is going to result in this, then I suggest that the READER refrain from typing. But to censor people, and to tell Randall - "watch it" - in the future, when he was stating an opinion? The only nazi here is the banned member - not the mod or Flagg.
Re: The Rant Thread
I want to get back to a real
topic....
I dunno.
I kind of think this sort of discussion qualifies for the rant thread.
like my girlfriend walking out...LMAO.....
Hell, ever found yourself back with your ex - as if you'd both gravitate towards one another through some inexclibable tractor beam? The more you spend time with her, you'll realize the two of you share the same doubts; should I walk out while the getting's good, and, will she walk out on me and leave a good thing out to rot.
It gets really irrititating after a while, let me tell you.
Re: The Rant Thread
I think where people struggle is they still have those feelings for one another. The think, "well if those feelings are there, they must be 'meant to be' and I have to act on it, and continue to work out the relationship" - in reality, they're overcomplicated an issue that's not as complicated as it seems.
You'll ALWAYS feel that way towards one another. You shared something very special at one time, and were intimate with one another. You'll always have a soft spot for someone like that, that you opened yourself up to.
But the truth is, it goes back to the "can't live with them, can't live without them" cliche. Just because you share those emotions, just because you share those feelings, and heck, even if you love each other... it does not mean you're meant to be together on a long-term scale, or even settle down.
I know people right now that stay in the clutches of a LONG dead relationship, simply because of 'memory'. They still have fond memories of what they were, and don't accept the reality of what they are. They hang on to that first memory of being together, the passion, those first few months, or a year in some cases when they were madly in love, and in some weird way they believe that they can re-create that somehow. They just have to do this, they just have to do that.
When the magic is gone - it's gone forever. And it'll never return.
But... people don't want to be alone either. And in the words of a wise friend... "I can't stop thinkin' 'bout 'doin it one more timmeee.... I already left you and you're better off - left behind". They go back to what they feel is safe, because they don't want to put their heart on their sleeve again to get hurt. So they try to accept the faults, instead of realizing they don't have to deal with them, because realizing you don't have to deal with them, also means accepting the responsibility of your own integrity, and alot of people don't want to do that.
Some people simply just don't have the strength to do it alone. "Well... it's better than nothing". No it's worse. Because you're subjecting yourself to an addiction really, and you're undermining yourself.
Got a friend right now, been cheated on multiple times with multiple men... and he still goes back to that human sperm dumpster. Because he's too scared to be alone. Know a girl who's been with only one guy, and been with him for several years. The guy lives practically in ANOTHER STATE, and is never coming back... and she keeps herself tied to him and committed. Stays depressed on a regular basis, because he's not coming back, she knows it, he knows it, and he treats her like shit when he comes down to visit, and it's SO obvious he's trying to send a message to her - "we're over, please dump me" - and she continues to close her eyes and put her hands over her ears. Because what she can't let go of the fact that she envisioned that she would spend the rest of her life with this man. He'd be the father of her kids... it isn't going to happen, and she can't let go of the dream that was never meant to be.
Re: The Rant Thread
Definitely has a ring of truth into it, just that my personal situation has a bit more going for it. Personally, I do realize and acknowledge the risk of going in simply for the replacement, the quick lay, what-have-you. That's something I've done in the past (with other people) and am not overtly keen of re-experiecing with the lady in question.
Back in the day, we were obviously quite mismatched as a couple, with myself being the disciplined sort having recently returned from the military, and her being the artist - your textbook bohemian wild. My emotional duress at the time could be compared to combat shock (although it was of completely different reasons), and she was going through some quite big issues of her own.
Thus, the punchline to the shaggy dog story is that I've she's grown up in the years between, abandoning all sorts of drugs and alcohol and actually living a rather healthy life. As for myself, I'm more in touch with my emotions (whatever the hell that means, you should probably ask her 
) than I was before. So we've both grown towards each other as personalities, which is definitely a funny little turn.
The years have certainly changed us both, and while she's given me a few rather good reasons not to go in for the wrong reasons after our reacquintance, I do have a morbid interest in seeing where the ship would sail this time around.
We actually joked about the 're-run' bit the last time we met; we'd both be rather interested in a whole new season. The wise friend also said, 'If there were doubts, you should be careful and unafraid'. Fools rush in, but there's no need to be a coward either.
Re: The Rant Thread
I think where people struggle is they still have those feelings for one another. The think, "well if those feelings are there, they must be 'meant to be' and I have to act on it, and continue to work out the relationship" - in reality, they're overcomplicated an issue that's not as complicated as it seems.
You'll ALWAYS feel that way towards one another. You shared something very special at one time, and were intimate with one another. You'll always have a soft spot for someone like that, that you opened yourself up to.
But the truth is, it goes back to the "can't live with them, can't live without them" cliche. Just because you share those emotions, just because you share those feelings, and heck, even if you love each other... it does not mean you're meant to be together on a long-term scale, or even settle down.
I know people right now that stay in the clutches of a LONG dead relationship, simply because of 'memory'. They still have fond memories of what they were, and don't accept the reality of what they are. They hang on to that first memory of being together, the passion, those first few months, or a year in some cases when they were madly in love, and in some weird way they believe that they can re-create that somehow. They just have to do this, they just have to do that.
When the magic is gone - it's gone forever. And it'll never return.
But... people don't want to be alone either. And in the words of a wise friend... "I can't stop thinkin' 'bout 'doin it one more timmeee.... I already left you and you're better off - left behind". They go back to what they feel is safe, because they don't want to put their heart on their sleeve again to get hurt. So they try to accept the faults, instead of realizing they don't have to deal with them, because realizing you don't have to deal with them, also means accepting the responsibility of your own integrity, and alot of people don't want to do that.
Some people simply just don't have the strength to do it alone. "Well... it's better than nothing". No it's worse. Because you're subjecting yourself to an addiction really, and you're undermining yourself.
Got a friend right now, been cheated on multiple times with multiple men... and he still goes back to that human sperm dumpster. Because he's too scared to be alone. Know a girl who's been with only one guy, and been with him for several years. The guy lives practically in ANOTHER STATE, and is never coming back... and she keeps herself tied to him and committed. Stays depressed on a regular basis, because he's not coming back, she knows it, he knows it, and he treats her like shit when he comes down to visit, and it's SO obvious he's trying to send a message to her - "we're over, please dump me" - and she continues to close her eyes and put her hands over her ears. Because what she can't let go of the fact that she envisioned that she would spend the rest of her life with this man. He'd be the father of her kids... it isn't going to happen, and she can't let go of the dream that was never meant to be.
waw you can really write... it opened up my eyes really..:(
- anti-fascist
- Rep: 0
Re: The Rant Thread
The way i see it was RF was making a rant...in the rant thread...he was sharing his opinion...in a wound up way which is afterall kind of the idea here...Dr Love took offence....as he took RF's comments personally. He was in a bad mood...and reacted badly....james called him on it.....he was still pissed and took that badly too. RF started trying to annoy him more. Everyone else (including me) chimed in on forum politics. Now it's snowballed out of control
You are exactly right. Flagg said smething that offended me, so I went after him. Was it right of me? Absolutely not. Am I going to admit I was wrong? Absolutely not. Maybe my "gutter tactics", as Lofton put it, weren't the best way, but I felt that Flagg had said something out of line and needed to be called on it. Even if his comments weren't directed at anyone in particular, they were still offensive to me. I've seen something very similar happen before on a different forum. Someone was complaining about police when it got out of hand. In bitching, they started using more personal insults against police, while two of the members on the board were officers. You can imagine how that could have spun out of control. It's kind of the same thing here. Yes, it's one thing to rant, in a "rant thread" at that, but by calling teachers things like "pieces of shit", I think that's a little more than just ranting.
What pissed me off the most is that everyone stoned me, and me alone, for it. I'm not telling anyone how to do their jobs here, but I think Lofton saying something as simple as "in no way was Flagg right, but there's no need for your languate" could have made this thing turn out completely differently. With the exception of Bono, I litereally had no one on my side in this one.... even when Flagg was trying to egg me on again. Neemo, sic, and BLS jumping in made me even more mad.. and their reasoning of "we're management, what happens on this site concerns us" was really just overkill. Obviously Lofton had it under control because I got banned.
So... I apologize, and now I'll just wait on my main handle to get it's ban lifted.
- Randall Flagg
- Rep: 139
Re: The Rant Thread
I didn't do anything wrong. You acted out, and rather than being an adult about it, you're still trying to place blame on me. Frankly I don't care what you say about me. You can call me a cocksucker all day long and I'll ignore it. But don't stay here and play a victim as if I should be punished for expressing my generic opinion on teachers. I don't care if your fiance is a teacher or not, I'm not going to censor my opinion on a profession becuase you're obviously not stable enough to hear a bad comment about a fucking job.
"Flagg this and Flagg that." Fuck that shit. I'll take my spanking when it's due, but I did nothing to provoke you. Hell I didn't even know who you were on this forum until this outburst. So be a man, admit you acted out. I don't want or need an apology cause I couldn't care less what you think of me. My life doesn't require validation from others. I'll let the mods decide if they think they deserve an apology. But please quit referencing me in your poor attempts at justification for your behavior. No one came to your defense because you acted like a fool. Plenty of people said my opinion was wrong, but none went into hysterics over it like you did. Deal with it and if you don't like my posts, ignore them. Feel free to give me bad karma too because you don't like the content of my posts. That's another thing I'll lose sleep over tonight.
Re: The Rant Thread
Definitely has a ring of truth into it, just that my personal situation has a bit more going for it. Personally, I do realize and acknowledge the risk of going in simply for the replacement, the quick lay, what-have-you. That's something I've done in the past (with other people) and am not overtly keen of re-experiecing with the lady in question.
Back in the day, we were obviously quite mismatched as a couple, with myself being the disciplined sort having recently returned from the military, and her being the artist - your textbook bohemian wild. My emotional duress at the time could be compared to combat shock (although it was of completely different reasons), and she was going through some quite big issues of her own.
Thus, the punchline to the shaggy dog story is that I've she's grown up in the years between, abandoning all sorts of drugs and alcohol and actually living a rather healthy life. As for myself, I'm more in touch with my emotions (whatever the hell that means, you should probably ask her
The years have certainly changed us both, and while she's given me a few rather good reasons not to go in for the wrong reasons after our reacquintance, I do have a morbid interest in seeing where the ship would sail this time around.
We actually joked about the 're-run' bit the last time we met; we'd both be rather interested in a whole new season. The wise friend also said, 'If there were doubts, you should be careful and unafraid'. Fools rush in, but there's no need to be a coward either.
It could've been Randall Flagg, but I might be mistaken, who proposed the idea that at the end of the day, all women want the primate. The alpha male.
It simply isn't true. The first simple rule to understanding women... is they aren't simple. Every woman is a little bit different from the next. That's not to say men aren't, but men are much more generalized and able to pinpoint down their needs and wants. They're emotionally less complex than women. Men who are OVERLY emotional, who are extremely touchy, sensitive and emotional, are usually oversimplified, and are deemed, whiny, needy, or gay. This is from someone who simply doesn't understand, nor do they want to.
Sic, you're ex described you as "more in touch with your emotions". That can be a huge turn on, and plus to certain women. While others, sit back and go - "what a pussy". I think it's VERY beneficial for a man to be in touch with his emotions, as long as he doesn't become inept at living because of it. Man or woman, nobody likes someone who's just weak, and sits around whining about their life, and does nothing.
Just like this in general comment a girl might make - "you're a good guy. A really good guy"
Now from 10 different women, that could mean 10 specifically different things. I've seen it all. A girl says that, and it could mean - "you're a really good friend, and I like you alot. We're JUST good friends"
But... girl #4 could say that, and it be a *hint*. I've had girls say that to me before, and mean just that - "you're a good friend". And I took it that way. I've had other girls say that, and me take it as "i'm a good friend", but what she actually reveals later on - "you know I really liked you. I wanted to hook up with you. I dropped all the signs, but you never bit"... which leaves me going - "huh?" So the next time i'm faced with that comment, I think take it as a come on, to when i'm told - "no I like you as a friend".
You just can't predict women. I was recently told that, with full sincerity by another girl, and again have to weight - how does SHE mean it? In comparison to the varying meanings from other women. She's obviously come on to me before, and certaintly tried to catch my attention, so i'm leaning towards it being - a come on. Which is a great thing if true.
But someone who does do something with their life, and gets kicked around, it can be beneficial to discuss those things and recognize it.
One of the big problems with the male friend of mine I mentioned earlier, is all of his hurt - he immdiately wants to bury. His way of dealing with it, is to pretend it never happened. And the family he comes from simply turn around, when there's a problem, and say - "go to church". Religion solves all problems, which is rarely ever true. Religion without trying to, usually teaches laziness. Be passive, accept, submit, and there's a pot-o-gold at the end of the rainbow. That's not really what it was meant for.
This guy is so out of touch with his emotions, he doesn't even know how to convey what he's feeling. Which is a dangerous position to be in. You stay angry, you stay depressed, and you become self-destructive, and you push it to a level, that no Doctor in the world can really tap in there to try to help you. It ALL becomes apart of the subconcious... and that's sad for him.
I'm not saying this is your case, but if you were able to avoid this, and kind of pull yourself out of the car wreck, and she recognizes that, and she's grown up... who knows. A new magic could be created, not necessarily resurrecting the old one, or trying to.
I think where people struggle is they still have those feelings for one another. The think, "well if those feelings are there, they must be 'meant to be' and I have to act on it, and continue to work out the relationship" - in reality, they're overcomplicated an issue that's not as complicated as it seems.
You'll ALWAYS feel that way towards one another. You shared something very special at one time, and were intimate with one another. You'll always have a soft spot for someone like that, that you opened yourself up to.
But the truth is, it goes back to the "can't live with them, can't live without them" cliche. Just because you share those emotions, just because you share those feelings, and heck, even if you love each other... it does not mean you're meant to be together on a long-term scale, or even settle down.
I know people right now that stay in the clutches of a LONG dead relationship, simply because of 'memory'. They still have fond memories of what they were, and don't accept the reality of what they are. They hang on to that first memory of being together, the passion, those first few months, or a year in some cases when they were madly in love, and in some weird way they believe that they can re-create that somehow. They just have to do this, they just have to do that.
When the magic is gone - it's gone forever. And it'll never return.
But... people don't want to be alone either. And in the words of a wise friend... "I can't stop thinkin' 'bout 'doin it one more timmeee.... I already left you and you're better off - left behind". They go back to what they feel is safe, because they don't want to put their heart on their sleeve again to get hurt. So they try to accept the faults, instead of realizing they don't have to deal with them, because realizing you don't have to deal with them, also means accepting the responsibility of your own integrity, and alot of people don't want to do that.
Some people simply just don't have the strength to do it alone. "Well... it's better than nothing". No it's worse. Because you're subjecting yourself to an addiction really, and you're undermining yourself.
Got a friend right now, been cheated on multiple times with multiple men... and he still goes back to that human sperm dumpster. Because he's too scared to be alone. Know a girl who's been with only one guy, and been with him for several years. The guy lives practically in ANOTHER STATE, and is never coming back... and she keeps herself tied to him and committed. Stays depressed on a regular basis, because he's not coming back, she knows it, he knows it, and he treats her like shit when he comes down to visit, and it's SO obvious he's trying to send a message to her - "we're over, please dump me" - and she continues to close her eyes and put her hands over her ears. Because what she can't let go of the fact that she envisioned that she would spend the rest of her life with this man. He'd be the father of her kids... it isn't going to happen, and she can't let go of the dream that was never meant to be.
waw you can really write... it opened up my eyes really..:(
Thank you, and alot of that comes from personal experience, and observation.
I tried to convey these statements before, and naturally I got alot of the "she's just not that into you", really ignorant, half-ass, and all around weak responses from alot of people.
The biggest problem with that girl i've noticed, is she just wants him to be something - he's not. This guy IS the "settle down with and marry" type. He is... but not on her level, and not at this time. She's a typical a 23 year old girl, past her "wild" stage, done with school, ready to settle down, and start making babies. Alot of girls do that at that age.
Her boyfriend simply kind of bummed around for 5 years, never made a single move to marry her or commit to her, then when she hits the point to say "marry me, or move on"... he moves on. And she continues to wait. He's 23, like her, and JUST STARTED college. He lives nowhere near her, just started college, seems to have an attitude of "i'm dragging my ass to be down here with you", and neither of them are even CLOSE on the same page of what they want out of life.
He wants to party 'til he's 30. He comes from money, and has got money to burn. He's not an awful person, just not what she's looking for. But her biggest confidant, her mother, sees dollar signs, is one of these mothers that not in touch with her emotions or feelings at all (you'd have to know her husband and father, just trust me on this), and she's the LAST person my friend needs to be going to for advice. Her advice is awful. Example - "mom, I just... I... I don't think I love him anymore", Mom's reply - "well men are like that. You're father was like that, just give him time".
Wow... grade A advice. He's been dating her for 6 years, has made no move to marry her, MOVED AWAY from her without batting an eye, and ANYTIME they spend time with each other, it ends in fighting BECAUSE he doesn't want to commit, STILL. Just give him some time. How much? 10 years? 20 years? How much?
They used to live with each other, and it ended in DISASTER. Yeah man... start getting those wedding invitations ready. What the fuck?
I'm just ranting about this little situation. It's a little different from what I posted above.
I think I love this girl, and there's something very special to her, but she's stuck right now, painfully obvious. She seems to be really into me, and I know it, and i've made it clear I like her, but I haven't made a move towards her. Because it's wrong in my eyes. She's taken. But she's at a crossroads. Does she stick with the boyfriend, whom she 'kinda' trusts, that's been there from day one, and is now gone, BECAUSE he's an identical personality to her grandfather, father, uncles & brother? He's very well liked by her family, because they have the same personality. But she's not into them anymore. OR, does she go after the enigma, the mystery, the one who is totally different from any man she's ever known. Or in 10 years will she be bored with that? Once she conquers it? Then she'll want to go back to familiar? I've never told any of these feelings of mine to her, because I DON'T want to be 'that guy'. I don't want to be one of those punk assholes who brainwashes a girl out of a relationship, and that's not my intention. She has to make her own way, her own decision, and the day she wants my honest opinion, is the day I might unload on her, but not before. And it kills me to do that. I want to tell her the truth about that she's not alone in feeling what she's feeling, but SHE has to be the one to recognize it. She has to have that strength. Until then we play the waiting game.
I've seen this play so many times before. I've seen girls chose the guy of the long-term, and go the route, and i've seen girls chose the new.
I've just never been involved with it before. Always sitting from the sidelines.
*end rant*
Re: The Rant Thread
Good point on not being able to interpret certain signals that women send out. Brought this up at the old site, but there was this arab chick who worked at a grocery store in Turlock back in the late 90s. Didn't go there often, but started to because I thought she was really attractive. We used to just do the small talk thing while she scanned my groceries, and I actually stopped going to other stores to get certain items. Even stopped going to liquor stores to buy cigarettes and paid the higher price there just to see her. Lame I know, and I even knew it was lame then. I wasn't some kid having puppy love, I was in my mid 20's drooling over some store clerk.
This went on for a few months, and I was never really sure how to approach this woman for a date. She was really reserved, shy, and there were no crystal clear signs that she was interested in me. I guess God got sick of my procrastination because one day I went there and she was gone. I figured she might have had the day off or was just sick, but I never saw her again. This situation actually brought up old wounds from childhood, as it was reminiscent of an incident from my childhood(also mentioned this at the old site) with another girl(who also happened to be arab) I was infatuated with(and also the first girl I fantasized having sex with) who moved away one summer out of the blue and I never saw her again either.
As far as women go, that situation is my biggest regret. Even if we never got to screw, I would have loved to take her out and been in a different environment than a damn clerk-customer relationship.
Re: The Rant Thread
Interesting story James. I've heard those kinds of stories before.
I think one of the things i've tried to make people understand with this girl in my life.
I don't know how to put it into words.
I know it's cliche, but it's kind of like when your mother tells you - "you'll just know". That's how I feel, and i've never felt that way before.
It scares me to fuckin' death.
There was one other girl, whom I didn't feel this way towards, when I was in high school. We grew up together. I remember being in the same kindergarten class with her. She always was sweet to me, way more so than normal, and she was definitely attractive (let's just say, high school / size 0 / D's / blonde). Anyways, I always viewed her as that sweet little girl, who was always real nice to me and said hello, when everyone else treated me like garbage. Why would a girl like that want anything to do with 'the ugly fat fuck' so to speak. Well, eventually we were put in night school for summer school for failing classes. We were at the high school, which shut everything down except for a couple rooms. In the dark, in the halls of the high school, she did the insane, or what I thought. The word had got around that the sweet little girl, had become the dirty little slut of town. Well having this in the back of my mind, she offered to suck my dick. It TOTALLY terrified me. I was still a virgin and really wasn't enlightened to women. Her saying that freaked me out. I pulled her up, and gently kissed her on the cheek, and whispered to her - "I don't want to change what you think of me". And walked away. It totally stunned her. I wanted the memory of the girl I played with at 8 years old, and liked. Not a girl on her knees blowing me in a dark, dank, hallway of an old school.
She then kind of gave me the cold shoulder, which I didn't understand. Sadly... she moved away after all those years. 18 or so, of growing up around her. It was then relayed to me after she was gone... "hey dude, you do know that chick wanted you BAD, right?"... "nah, we were just good friends. She was really sweet"... "No man, she said she offered to go down on you, and you turned her away. She thought you hated her"... "What? No, I did that because I thought she was better than that. We were better than that. Someone I had that much history with, if we were gonna hook up, it needed to be classier. I wanted it to be classier for her"... "She said she did that, because she didn't know what else to do. She had thrown you all these signs, and you just wouldn't take to them. So finally she just gave up, and offered to fuck you right there"...
Then it dawned on me...
I didn't understand signals from women AT ALL. All the times she'd dropped signs, I saw it as friendly conversation, and a sweet nice girl, one of my favorites I knew. In reality she was coming on to me, and I didn't see it.
Then she was gone. I eventually accepted it as fate, but for awhile I was really bummed. I just wanted to talk to her. Explain it all to her. This girl LOVED me. She pursued me for over a decade. Last I heard, she was shacked up with some guy, with two kids.
But what might've been. Lost love that never was.
