Man in trouble for having sex with bike

James

A man has been placed on the sex offenders' register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle. Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders' register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

DoubleTalkingJive

WTF!!!!

I guess it's not as bad as a dead Deer or is it?

Axl S

As weird as this is, he was in his own room. Isn't that private not public?

A Private Eye

Axl S wrote:

As weird as this is, he was in his own room. Isn't that private not public?

That's what I thought. It's disturbing and weird but it was in his own room and he wasn't harming anyone, I don't see how it's an offence.

Unless it wasn't his bike

James

DoubleTalkingJive wrote:

WTF!!!!
I guess it's not as bad as a dead Deer or is it?

At least the dead deer had a pussy.......

What on a bike would be considered fuckable?

I still don't understand how this is illegal. Its extremely lame, but not illegal.

Jungle Blood

There comes a time in each mans life when he has to molest a bicycle.

Its like puberty.

monkeychow

but what can you even fuck on a bike? The wheel spokes? LOL

luckylittlelady

I was thinking this was going to be a motorbike, at least it would have an exhaust to stick it in.

How very freaking weird!

Backslash

luckylittlelady wrote:

I was thinking this was going to be a motorbike, at least it would have an exhaust to stick it in.

I know a guy who did that.

I don't get this. There are people who rape people and they get away with it. This guy rapes a bike and they arrest him. The system is fucked up. I mean, cops should spend time finding real criminals and prosecutors should spend money and time prosecuting real criminals.

How would a guy fuck a bike? That's a good question... Unless it was anal sex. You have the seat and the handlebars which are sort of phallic. But where is there a fuckable hole on a bike?

monkeychow

Backslash wrote:

luckylittlelady wrote:
I was thinking this was going to be a motorbike, at least it would have an exhaust to stick it in.
I know a guy who did that.

OMG the burns, the burns

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